A Change in the View

Two months in and things are beginning to come together. I’m no longer filled with overwhelming anxiety every moment of the day and my son’s health has progressed to the point where every second is not filled with the struggle to breathe. We are settling into the community, becoming acquainted with some of our neighbors and, after weeks of filling out applications and relying on the kindness of friends, family, and strangers (how Blanche DuBois is that!), I finally have a job! Our finances has caused many a sleepless night for me, coupled with the ache in my heart as I watched helplessly as my son suffered. Even so, I have counted my blessings every day that events have come about allowing me to be with him during this time.

One of the biggest obstacles we faced in the beginning of our journey was finding a suitable place to live. The trick, you see, was to find a place that would be affordable, with easy access to his medical team, as well as being conveniently located near grocery stores and such. Oh, and the catch was to be able to find a landlord that would be willing to rent to us before I had secured a job!

Well, the universe has a way of transpiring and we were actually able to rent a place in a mobile home park directly across the highway from the hospital and his medical team. It is also within walking distance from several stores, with the bus line passing by the entrance. The other perk, one I had not even considered, was that we are just a mile away from Hudson Beach. Ah, bliss! Right?

The first few days we spent getting settled in (relatively easy, considering all we had were two suitcases of clothing and personal items), and then I set off exploring our new neighborhood.

The first time I walked down to the beach, on a quiet Sunday morning, I had high hopes.

You see, the ocean has always had a way of working it’s magic on me and I was in desperate need of some magic at this point. So off I went, with every intention of strolling barefoot in the sand and letting the waves wash away all my troubles. Once I arrived, however, the view was breathtaking, but my heart would not allow itself to be moved. I stayed for a few moments, breathing in the salt air and turned to go home. After that, life spun out of control for awhile and I had not returned to my muse.

And then, this morning I went for a walk on the beach. The moment my bare feet touched the sand, I could feel her casting her spell on me. I let the fine white sand  massage my soles as I strolled closer to the gentle surf. Finally, I found a quiet spot, a swing with an exceptional view and as soon as I sat down, a large dolphin broke the surface of the water in a glistening silver-grey arch. Then, before I could catch my startled breath, another leaped in the air right behind him. I watched for a full five minutes as more appeared, a pod, sometimes as many as three at a time leaping together in unison, a morning ritual before heading out to deeper water in search of breakfast. After the final leap, some distance away now, I sat back for a few moments watching the water. Finally, I picked up my shoes and walked to the edge of the water, stepping into the salty, slightly chilly froth of waves that rocked back and forth along the sand as I let go, holding myself in the moment. A slight shift and, all at once, I felt connected to the universe and I let her hold me there, soothing my soul. Soaking in the magic that I had come in search of  several weeks ago, desperate to be healed.





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